It's a hot, sticky day. Sun is beating down. Rain is a threat and it's humid. Tempers are short..especially mine right now.
I've put in a hard day's work and all I want to do is go home, but I have to run an errand and then go to the grocery store. I'd rather not..grocery shopping to me ranks right up there with having a root canal! But, there's nothing for dinner and I have a family to feed, so I hurry, hurry, hurry. Impatience is definitely my co-pilot today!
I get my groceries, stand in a too-long line to pay for them and finally load them into my car and head out of the parking lot, thinking about how I just want to get out of this heat and home as quickly as possible.
Suddenly, to my left I see a big old lumbering van pulling out in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes to avoid getting hit. Rage instantly engulfs me as quickly and as hot as a prairie brush fire eats up tinder-dry grass. I roar around the van and, seeing an older man behind the wheel I get even angrier. (at my younger age I am of the opinion that all older people should get off the roads and out of everyone else's way!!) My windows are down and I let loose with a string of expletives and a rude hand gesture, and zoom ahead----only to hit the red light at the exit of the parking lot---and here comes the van, and it pulls up in the lane right beside me.
At first I refuse to look over..but then I do and although my window is now closed, I can tell that the man is trying to say something. I roll down my window, expecting a return blast of nastiness in response to my own previous show of temper, and I'm ready for whatever he has to say..but..instead, to my absolute shock, in a quiet, gentle tone he says, "I am so sorry that I pulled out in front of you. I didn't mean to. I guess I was just not paying attention and I am sorry."
Wow!! It isn't at all what I expect! Just as quickly as it appeared, my anger is gone; shame replaces it and I apologize to him as well for my rude lapse of manners. He just smiles kindly and says, "It's okay." Just like that, he graces me with instant forgiveness.
The light turns green and we go in our separate directions---but, that man changed me forever. He could have easily been just as ugly to me as I was to him..but, instead, he taught me an unforgettable lesson in a tiny minute of time with a few soft words.
This was years ago, but I have not forgotten that incident. (And now, I am an "older driver" myself.)When someone cuts me off or does something else irritating on the road I don't take it personally anymore. People make mistakes. It's as simple as that. Instead of instantly becoming angry I think to myself: "I'll bet if that person had the opportunity to apologize for that little error they would." It has also made me more aware of my own mistakes on the road, and hopeful that the person I've irritated realizes that it wasn't intentional--and if I'm given the opportunity to tell them so, I will.
The grace to forgive each other, even when we are strangers, is part of what makes us civilized human beings. Without that, we are doomed to war forever with no hope of peace. If you doubt that, just look at countries that have been at war for generations. Think about that: GENERATIONS! Those people have known nothing but war all their lives; their little boys at age 10...(and even younger) are taught how to shoot and kill each other. They have never known a childhood...and I doubt they will ever be able to live in any kind of peace; they have been taught hatred from the cradle.
Personally, I don't ever want to live that way. Do you?
Monday, January 28, 2008
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1 comment:
Been there and acted like a total fool. I was ashamed of my temper, but could not help myself.
But, I have to say, when I was 7 months pregnant, looked like a whale, was tired, hot and as most pregnant women are, not in a good mood. Coming home from work, I realized I needed gas in the car (this was back in the day when service stations actually pumped gas for you). So, I stopped to get gas, I had an amazing experience. I was starting to pull out and this guy on a motorcycle was pulling out at the same time. He pulled out in front of me when I was already in the turn lane to pull out. I was so po'd and in such a bad mood, hot and tired from a long days work, I actually got out of my VW bug and walked up to him and asked him what in the heck did he think he was doing? He took one look at my fat pregnant belly and almost passed out. He apologized and even offered to let me go first to get out into the intersection. I told him no, I would wait behind him. He kept apologizing to me, but I just wanted to get out of the gas station and get home. I was tired, my feet looked like a fat piece of swollen fruit, and I was hot and tired after working for 12 hours. The funny part of this little story is that he actually pulled out into the intersection, stopped traffic in both lanes, and motioned me out to go first. Now, that was a gentlemen. Too bad there are not many men like that in this world anymore.
I finally got home and told my husband what had happened. At first, he was angry that a MAN would treat a pregnant woman like that. Then when I told him what he did for me, he was actually impressed. He told me that most men were butt-heads. Some of them still had courtesy to women - WHICH ALL MEN SHOULD.
Still to this day, when a man helps me with something, or even a woman for that matter, I tell them thank you for your service, have a nice day and I hope your evening is well also.
Courtesy is not easy to come by. Sometimes we lose our tempers. But, in all reality, we need to be kind to our mankind.
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